Emotional intelligence in children is one of the most critical predictors of their long-term success—academically, socially, and personally. Yet, how we teach emotional intelligence often differs drastically based on gender, beginning as early as toddlerhood.
At Mirai Minds, we believe it’s time to change that.
The Gender Gap in Teaching Emotions
By the age of four, children already receive distinct emotional guidance based on societal norms. Girls are often encouraged to talk about feelings, show empathy, and be nurturing. Boys, meanwhile, are more likely to be told to “toughen up,” “be brave,” or “stop crying.”
According to a Yale University study, teachers are twice as likely to use emotion-related language with girls than with boys in early childhood classrooms. Similarly, the American Psychological Association has found that boys are less likely to receive emotional coaching from adults, leading to a lack of vocabulary and confidence when expressing their feelings.
The result? A skewed model of emotional intelligence in children, where girls are conditioned to be overly agreeable and boys are taught to suppress emotional vulnerability. Both outcomes can be harmful.
What Happens When We Teach Emotional Intelligence Through a Gendered Lens?
- Girls often internalize that being “nice” is more important than being honest or assertive. They might suppress emotions like anger or frustration to maintain social harmony.
- Boys might grow up without the language to name their feelings, leading to emotional outbursts, withdrawal, or difficulty with interpersonal relationships.
These early patterns shape adulthood. A 2016 study by the World Health Organization emphasized that emotional skills built in early childhood significantly impact mental health and professional success later in life. Emotional intelligence isn’t a “soft” skill—it’s a lifelong skill.
And yet, our approach to developing emotional intelligence in children remains deeply influenced by outdated gender norms.
Emotional Intelligence Is Not Gendered—And Our Teaching Shouldn’t Be Either
At Mirai Minds, we take a different approach. We design our workshops and learning environments to nurture emotional intelligence in every child, regardless of gender.
Here’s how we do it:
1. Emotion Vocabulary for All
We actively teach a broad spectrum of emotions—joy, jealousy, pride, confusion, frustration—and encourage children of all genders to use this vocabulary daily. This fosters clarity, self-awareness, and emotional confidence.
2. Safe Spaces to Express and Reflect
We create safe, non-judgmental environments that encourage children to express what they feel freely. Whether it’s a boy expressing sadness or a girl expressing anger, we celebrate their honesty rather than redirecting or minimizing it.
3. Empathy and Boundaries Together
Empathy is a two-way street. We teach children that understanding others’ emotions doesn’t mean ignoring their own. We guide them in setting boundaries, saying “no” with respect, and standing up for themselves with compassion.
4. Role Models Who Break Stereotypes
Our facilitators and mentors model emotionally intelligent behavior beyond gender stereotypes. We normalize boys showing kindness and girls standing firm. This subtle reinforcement goes a long way.
The Future Demands Emotionally Intelligent Humans—Not Gendered Reactions
According to the World Economic Forum, emotional intelligence ranks among the top 10 skills needed in the workforce of the future. The ability to self-regulate, empathize, communicate, and collaborate is critical in any career or relationship.
If we want children to thrive in a complex, fast-changing world, we must prioritize teaching emotional intelligence in children—equally, respectfully, and free from limiting gender scripts.
Let’s not raise boys who are afraid to feel.
Or girls who are afraid to speak up.
Let’s raise children who are emotionally intelligent, emotionally expressive, and emotionally empowered.
Are You Ready to Rethink How We Teach Emotions?
At Mirai Minds, we’re building the emotional leaders of tomorrow—through hands-on workshops, school programs, and engaging experiences that equip children with lifelong emotional tools.
Whether you’re a parent, educator, or school leader, you can be part of this shift.
Connect with us to learn how Mirai Minds can bring emotionally intelligent education to your school or community.
Because every child deserves the emotional toolkit to thrive—no matter their gender.
