We’ve all witnessed it—that moment when a child is completely consumed by big emotions.
The meltdown in the grocery store.
The angry outburst over a broken toy.
The silent shutdown after school.
As parents and educators, these moments can feel overwhelming. But what if one of the most powerful ways to respond doesn’t require fancy tools or hours of training?
What if the secret lies in helping children do one simple thing: name what they’re feeling.
Welcome to a science-backed strategy called “Name it to Tame it.”
It’s a compassionate, effective way to help kids understand and regulate their big emotions—and it starts with language.
What Are Big Emotions?
“Big emotions” refer to feelings that feel intense, all-consuming, and difficult for young minds to process—like anger, fear, sadness, jealousy, or even excitement.
Children often experience these emotions without having the words or skills to handle them. That’s when emotional overload happens—and it shows up as tantrums, defiance, crying, or withdrawal.
What Is “Name it to Tame it”?
Coined by psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel, the phrase means just what it sounds like: when a child is flooded with emotion, helping them identify and name what they’re feeling can begin to soothe and regulate their emotional state.
Why? Because naming activates the thinking part of the brain (prefrontal cortex) and calms the reactive part (the amygdala). It helps the child move from chaos to clarity.
Example:
- Instead of saying: “Calm down!”
- Try: “You’re feeling really angry that your turn ended. That’s hard.”
You’re not just soothing them. You’re building emotional intelligence.
Why It Works in the Classroom
Teachers know that learning doesn’t happen when emotions are running high.
Using “Name it to Tame it” in a classroom helps children:
- Recognize and verbalize emotions
- Feel seen and supported
- Return to a calm, ready-to-learn state
It might sound like:
“You’re disappointed we didn’t get to the art activity today. I hear you.”
These quick, empathetic phrases can transform classroom culture.
How Parents Can Use It at Home
You don’t need a perfect script—just presence and empathy. Here’s how to start:
- Narrate emotions: “It looks like you’re feeling sad. Want to talk about it?”
- Model your own: “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now, so I’m taking a deep breath.”
- Use visuals like an Emotion Thermometer to help kids “rate” their feelings and track their shift.
Using a simple visual aid helps children externalize their emotions and feel a greater sense of control. It also creates space for meaningful conversations.
The Long-Term Impact
When children learn to name their big emotions, they’re learning:
- Self-awareness
- Coping skills
- How to communicate instead of explode
Over time, this supports better relationships, stronger mental health, and lifelong resilience.
Building Emotional Muscles, One Word at a Time
When children learn to name their big emotions, they don’t just calm down in the moment—they begin to build a lifelong toolkit for self-awareness and resilience.
Emotional regulation is a skill that takes time, patience, and consistent modeling from the adults in their lives. The small act of putting feelings into words can be the bridge between overwhelm and understanding.
So the next time you see a child struggling, resist the urge to fix or dismiss it.
Instead, offer words. Offer presence. And let them know that big emotions are not something to fear—they’re something we can learn from.
Want more insights like this?
Explore our latest workshops, articles, and educator resources here and be part of a community that’s redefining how we raise and teach emotionally intelligent children.
